I can’t express my absolute admiration for this woman.. I’ve only ever met one woman in my life that is as strong, intelligent, mind-blowingly beautiful, and intoxicating - she’s my best friend. The only difference between Cyd and Leanne is.. Cyd gave me her heart and made me promise not to break it.
I don’t think I’ve ever dreamt about someone as much as I have her. The way her hair must look in the sun, the taste of last nights cigarettes on her lips, the feeling of her fingers entwined in mine as we lay there and talk about everything and nothing. I’m infatuated beyond words, and the most beautiful thing about it all? I know she feels exactly the same way. To know someone craves you as much as you do them.. I’m not sure I could imagine anything better.
Okay, so we’ve known each other just over a fortnight, never met (and she’s allergic to cats!) but should that matter? You know when you have a connection with someone, right? To spend every night begging the powers-that-be to bring you two together - surely that means something? To wake up every morning, hoping she’ll be online, or that I get to hear her voice just once.
She writes with meaning, has a mind I could get lost in, a voice I could drown in. I get lost in her words and I know, in my heart, that this is what heaven feels like. I don’t care if she’s vegetarian, that she has the words “cunt power” tattooed upon her arm. I don’t even care that part of my family is going to hate her - she’s mine. My polygamous transgender princess, I wouldn’t lose you for the world.
I know she won’t see this, which is why I’m putting this here. I won’t say I’m ‘in love’, because after almost 3 weeks that sounds silly and childish. I adore her; every inch of her soul - but what I feel for her means more than those 4 letters ever will. I’m blown away by everything you are, and by the sheer feeling of ecstasy you can bestow upon me in a few words. When I saw your profile - with just the one photo of you - I think I knew I needed you. Yet, I was too scared, too afraid, to send that message - to know there was a possibility that I was to be shot down. Yet, 4 days later, you messaged me with the sweetest, if not most awkward, introduction I’ve ever received. I can’t even describe the butterflies that blossomed - and they’re still there. With every message exchanged, Skype call, email, photo comment - these feelings grew and it feels like they’re trying to burst through my chest. “For all that you are mine, as I am yours.” Was the last line you wrote in that email; I don’t think I’ve ever believed a line more.
As if by magic, you’ve drawn out parts of me I’ve hidden for so many years. My sexual submission, my emotional openness, a giggle I’ve never heard. You make me forget what it’s like to breathe, as if I’m starting all over again. We both know we’re not a conventional couple - the fat crippled nymphomaniac and the foul-mouthed trans lesbian nurse. But you know what? I don’t think I’ve ever been happier. When I finally get to hold you in my arms; to show you this is real… I’d stand at the edge of the world as it burns, if you’ll hold my hand.
You have my heart; and I honestly believe you always will.
Like you said: Lets be nothing, I hear it lasts forever. Right?